The inconsistency of me

ala 2 minggu je diet pastu ampeh..

ex bos aku yg regular kat gym pun dh tanye bile aku nak g lagi..kdg2 aku nmpk die aku rs nak elak je sbb nnt die tanye aku byk2 soalan..hahaha..siap tanye weight aku sume..tp bgs gak die tanye at least ade motivation..

so tomoro morning ill start..insyaAllah..kalau nak ilang weight cpt..kene gym twice a day..ni aku blaja kat www.nowloss.com .. tp nak buat tuh bukan senang ye..kene ade daya yang tinggi..sbb aku penah buat dulu..and aku jadi penat gak kdg2..huhu..pastu bile dh penat mule la rs give up tuh dtg..yela leceh nak tukau2 baju ape sume..

nape la rumah jauh sgt dr opis..kalau tak byk mase leh save..tp kalau ckp mcm ni mcm tak baik plak..hurm

ok la esok aku try..

Why for some ppl, its so easy for them? Do I really need to beautify myself to get what i want? huhu

gimme hope..illl wait for you..but if you go..ill say goodbye

T_T

The Average Learner

Wow second post of the month..not bad huh?

I remembered the last time I was suffering from a break-up (yerp...that's right..suffering).. I can't sleep, I cried almost every night, I wish i could do something about it, I wish him returned to me so that I can fix things, I promised i'll be a better girlfriend, can't even get him out of my head for a year..I said to myself at that time..I'll wait..

But he never returned. He never called. Only on occasion such as birthday I will text him happy birthday and vice versa. That's because we shared the same birthday month.

But if let say now. After looking back. Even if he return now. I would never..ever accept him. That's because time passed by. That's because it had been years. And that's because he had hurt me so so much. I think about the wasted time I thought of him. How many tears rolled down because of him. How my thought has been invaded just by thinking about him.

So, let say i am thinking about another boy. The current one. The one that I like. I thought why he can't text me back, or why i am so irrelevent to him except for certain time, why he can't be an attentive listener, why this and how's that. In a few years time, when i'll look back at the current situation, I would be asking myself.. why do I push myself so hard to someone who don't even recognized me and I am certain that I will blame myself, if i made a wrong decision.

So that's that. Now is the hard time. Now is the time that I, myself let you be the king in my brain. In a few years time..when the answer reveal itself..you'll just be a nobody. And thats when you'll be lower than the cats..haha..

So this i must learn..to be an average thinker..to not let you..the 'nobody in the future' be so powerful in my brain..I have been through this over and over..there must be a lesson learnt..and i must learn it..

Thank you for being my friend..I wish you know the real feeling..but I'm scared you'll be gone too fast..Rejection can be so hard..This I will take as my experience.

I can't wait to see my friends..:)

Stressful 4 days in total, wonderful team, beautiful friends and a calming scene

Aku kat PD ni..mlm ni by hook or by crook nak balik umah..hehe..tak kisahla habis kul bape pun..walaupun takdelah ape sgt kat umah tuh tapi daripada balik esok pagi2..baik balik malam ni..

Kat sini pas aku tgk balik.. walaupun waktu keje mcm gile (8.00-12.00 tgh mlm) tp bile aku ngan wonderful team..rs mcm seronok lak..buat keje sambil gelak2..but bile balik bilik..pergh tulang blkg sume sakit la..tp takde lak tido terus... layan tv dulu..borak2 ngan beautiful friends..baru tido..tgk2 henfon kalau ade aktiviti (malangnya selalu takde pun)..bangun pagi2 tekak kering..pastu batuk teruk..huhu health mmg deteriorate la kat sini..

Aku tgh menaip kat dlm bilik meeting..kat luar tgkp nampak laut..the calming scene..bile lah dpt g pantai ni..nampak cam ok lak pantai kat pd ni..tadi pesan aiskrim kat kawan..japg smpi la tu..not much la happening..except that aku realise when we give that much (or so much)..hati kene ikhlas..jgn harap ape2...pastu nnt bende2 bes akan dtg punye..hopefully la..when feeling something..jgn over the hill..sbb nnt frust jatuh bedebuk takde sape yg paham..all must be in average..all must be fair..

:)